People have this perception that because you write the book on the how to’s of life and have the tools you do not go through the stuff. Or when you do you go through it seamlessly, it was because you practiced what you preached. It is much more than that.

I wrote the book because I was working through my own process and through this experience, I am able to add value and impact the lives of others through real and authentic life hacks.

When we go through our own individual processes, we do one of three things to help us cope:

1. We implode, meaning we collapse or cause to collapse violently inwards. We make a deliberate decision to go through trails, tests and processes by ourselves. Most of the time the results are that we feel so much emotion, without anywhere to let it out, we do not share, all the while we are screaming on the inside.

Most of the time we feel like this because our mental capacity to think through a problem has been drained because we want to do it by ourselves. Nothing wrong with that, but keep these three ways by Dr Caroline Leaf in mind next time you hit that slump. First, pausing every 30-45 minutes and going into what she calls a “thinker moment” for a few minutes, second, taking a longer break after every three hours and limiting the intensiveness and length of your work and thinking. In short – give yourself and your problem solving skills a break.

2. We explode, meaning we burst or shatter violently and noisily as a result of rapid combustion, excessive internal pressure, or other process. This is loud and sudden and no matter who is around us, they all know about the process, pressure or problem you are going through. Seldom this has a positive result.

The higher the emotion the lower the intelligence. Yes, re-read that again, and again.

In an article by PsyPost Eric W. Dolan’s research found that people who confessed to having a quick temper tended to also overestimate their intelligence. People who explode feel like the most intelligent person in the room, but are they? Next time, settle down and analyse your thoughts before they exit your mouth. Having this explosive quality can be good to use in the right way and can result in healthy charismatic relationships. Just know how to channel those emotions positively and you might just be the most likeable person in the room.

3. Or we collaborate, meaning we work jointly on an activity, project, problem or process. This avoids both imploding and exploding. We take time to reflect on the process happening on the inside, but we choose accountability partners to talk with and through our process on the outside. We gather wisdom and we are able to make well thought out calculated decisions for positive results.

I always ask myself, where have I gone through something similar and how can I relate to help someone else? I am quite the Elvis Presley fan and he wrote the song called “walk a mile in my shoes”. Before the song starts he tells the story of a man and says “You never stood in that man’s shoes or saw things through his eyes, or stood and watched with helpless hands while the heart inside you dies. So help your brother along the way no matter where he stands. For the same God that made you, made him too, these men with broken hearts.”

No process is easy, and no one really understands the process you are going through, but I can help you make your process a little easier because I went through one of my own.

What to expect when going through your own process:

1. Expect to be tired
2. Expect to be confused
3. Expect to ask questions
4. Expect to be overwhelmed at times
5. Expect to go on a journey
6. Expect to be emotionally uncomfortable and unsure
7. Expect to come away with a new identity
8. Expect the unexpected
9. Expect to surprise yourself
10. Expect to outgrow yourself

Common fears while going through a process:

1. I do not have it in me
2. I am afraid my idea is not original
3. I am afraid I won’t be good enough
4. I am afraid no one will care about what I have to say or how I feel
5. I am afraid my opinion will upset people
6. I am afraid my feelings will make me look stupid

This is why I went full out with my process and embraced my journey, because my process was bigger than myself:

I went full out and embraced my process to leave a legacy, I wanted to make an impact in peoples. This process did not only lead me to raise authority and credibility in my field but also raise visibility in the media with regards to personal and emotional growth. The testimonies received have been positively overwhelming on how I was able to help people through their struggles. By helping them discover a new way of thinking and doing I once again learned and refined my own process.

By IN10TIONALLY implementing 10 IN10TIONAL habits in life, you will be able to easily understand, implement and use the knowledge to further enrich the lives of people around you as well as your own.

Apply the wisdom in the pages to your own life. Grow in intimacy with God, Godly integrity, stature, and influence while collaborating with other likeminded people.

Being IN10TIONAL means using the God-given right we have to choose differently and in so doing, you are creating wealth, and sculpting a better life.

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